Hard to believe it's almost March. I am outraged. I am filled with fury. Do you hear that strange squeaking noise? Those are my teeth, as I grind them while typing this. Soon there will nothing left but tiny white nubs. Then you'll be sorry, March. I will still bite you.
And yet, I feel conflicted. Inside I yearn for spring...for warmer days and more light...for flowers and singing birds...for soft breezes and dappled sunlight...(but not for bees). However, it also causes me great sorrow. Why great sorrow, you ask? Ah, here's where the story gets interesting.
Three short months from now I will be leaving Germany for good. I know! It's a shock! Each day that passes now...brings me that much closer to departure. My heart clenches a little as I type those words. I am quivering like a bowl of jello. The German dream is beginning to flicker and grow dim...causing alarm and internal distress.
Inside, my inner cry-baby is growing ever more powerful. Soon, she will throw the world's most tragic temper tantrum...which only happens when she doesn't get what she wants. Which is to say, rather frequently. But none will match this.
I realize there are worse things than moving to Northern California. Yes, that's where we're headed. But the last four years here have been magical for me. And for the family. I will miss Germany with every fiber of my being. I will mourn for these quiet days. I will shed tears of utter sadness and despair. I will leave a piece of my heart in this tiny village when I go.
Hopefully the villagers will erect some sort of statue in my honor when I'm gone. That would definitely make me feel better. Then, every June they will gather together in silence and lay wreaths around the base. Tears will be shed. In this way the memory of me and my little dog will never die.
I will overcome my grief, of course. Some day. Far in the future. Most likely when I am old and forgetful. I will look around one day and say --in a voice a little too loud and slightly accusatory--'Where did all these beer glasses come from?' Life must go on.
This blog will not, however, go on. Tick tock! In three months we will both self-destruct. Happy thoughts!
Tomorrow is my three year blogging anniversary. Hard to believe. I've never done anything which required even minimal effort for three straight years. You must understand, this is miraculous. I am the world's biggest quitter. And yet!
I still think the best part of blogging has been meeting so many interesting, smart, funny and creative people. That means YOU, of course.
YOU!
Is it too late to put together a "BlogEur"--during which time I invite friends from all over the world to pile into my tiny house, in my even tinier village? We can go drink beer and eat Schnitzel at Trafo. We can go for bike rides along the bike trail (it goes all the way to France from my little village!) We can go on long walks with the most beautiful views of the German countryside. I will introduce you to my German neighbors...there's Tanja, Ingo, Jule, Sonja, Martina, Manuela, Karl Heinz, Sigrid, Reiner, Petra, Gert...They will all fall in love with you! Why?
Because you are adorable, lovable and filled with goodness--like a fragile, downy baby bird.
Think about it.
The weather's pretty amazing in May...
Listen.
Two things.
1: I will be in the Netherlands in April so I don't think I can swing Germany in May.
B: I'm not clear on why toothless you cannot blog from Northern California.
Other than that, I luff you madly.
Posted by: blackbird | February 28, 2011 at 12:55 PM
Yeah, what?! You won't be blogging from northern California?! Because much like the entire country of Germany, I have never been to northern California, either. Here I was, thinking I'd get a Eurolush tour of NorCal, that there would be something in this for ME. Huh. Well. I'm going to need time to process this.
Posted by: Kathy | February 28, 2011 at 02:06 PM
I'll be there, if you'll have me! But oh, I can't believe you're leaving so soon! And wait, are you saying you won't be starting another blog when you get to Cali? Say it ain't so!
Posted by: Hausfrau | February 28, 2011 at 02:59 PM
Oh you don't know how I envy you moving back to America. Are you sure you can't start a Northern California blog? Then again, pictures and stories from California would probably only make my homesickness worse!
And I'm definitely up for a BlogEur--but you didn't mention pastries--there must be pasties!
K x
Posted by: kristina | February 28, 2011 at 04:55 PM
No wonder you feel wretched--I'd hate to leave such a beautiful place. I'm sad just thinking about YOU leaving it.
Posted by: green girl in wisconsin | February 28, 2011 at 06:07 PM
NO WAY.
There is NO WAY you are leaving AND shutting your blog down.
NO WAY.
It's unacceptable.
Give me some time to work on this, I can't seem to digest even reading it ...
Posted by: Paola | February 28, 2011 at 06:43 PM
Let's just call it like it is:
You will miss Germany, because
1) Beer and
2) Pastry wagon
Can't wait for CreateCalifornia.
Remember: No matter where you go - there you are!*
*wisdom from Buckaroo Bonzai, a great cult film.
Posted by: MsCellania | February 28, 2011 at 07:29 PM
My heart aches for you leaving Germany because it means THIS BLOG WILL END! WTF? No more Lushie to read? What, there is no beer (or wine) in northern California? Please, please, please start a new blog for the next stage of your life, or I will throw the world's biggest temper tantrum myself.
Posted by: kmkat | February 28, 2011 at 07:43 PM
...Ewwww...
(that's me, speechless)
...tiny sob...
(I will cope but I am not sure how)
Posted by: Alice C | February 28, 2011 at 08:05 PM
Drama Queen.
You will continue blogging even if I have to personally fly to your new home and camp on your doorstep until you do.
Posted by: Eleanor | February 28, 2011 at 10:35 PM
Well. Looks like we all have the same point to make.
What say ye?
Posted by: blackbird | March 01, 2011 at 12:48 AM
Oh, wow. How I will miss all the lovely images. But you know, as a Californian myself, there are plenty of wonderful photo opportunities you can share with your loyal audience. Here's hoping!
Posted by: Natalia | March 01, 2011 at 12:54 AM
I am most definitely with Eleanor ...I know that I will be just as fascinated by no/cal through your eyes/lens as I have been by Germany .
Posted by: Mary | March 01, 2011 at 02:42 AM
I just need a minute to digest that.
No more Lushie?
No more Tex?
No more beautiful photos?
You'd better make the last 3mths good, honey.
I hope Eleanor can talk you into continuing to blog when you are in Nth California.
xx
Posted by: Amelia | March 01, 2011 at 10:42 AM
Don't you DARE stop blogging.
Do you hear?
Posted by: suse | March 01, 2011 at 01:46 PM
Eurolush, I will miss the pictures of what was once my tiny village in Germany. I love that every now and then my old German house next to the church makes it into your blog. I was wondering if you could do me a favor. The one picture I did not get before I left Germany was of the gentleman who walks his Geman Shepard each morning on the main street past the Trafo. If you see him and your camera is handy could you snap me a picture. I waved to him each morning for 4 1/2 years. Funny the things I miss.
P.S. Have fun at Homburg, how I miss that flea market! Allison
Posted by: Allison King | March 01, 2011 at 03:11 PM
You have no idea how much I miss Germany, how much I have enjoyed your photos and prose about this beloved country and its people and dogs. So in the meantime I will continue to visit your blog and ooh and ahh and reminisce (even about the things I never got to do, as the perpetually pregnant or nursing mama).
Posted by: kcinnova | March 01, 2011 at 03:33 PM
bb: I luff you madly, too.
Kathy: With enough glasses of wine, I can be talked into just about anything.
Hausfrau: Just because I'm leaving doesn't mean we can't keep exchanging books--which has been so much fun. You are my best reading buddy! PS-Let's get together before it go!
Kristina: There will be pastries. I promise. Come join us. And, really, I would've given my left arm to move to England and be your neighbor. Is that too much? Maybe I should have said my left eyebrow.
Green Girl: You're making it worse. But I still love you.
Paola: The thought of not returning to Positano has just entered my mind. Now I'm in a deep depression. No more tomatoes and eggplant from your garden? Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
MsCellenia: What you say is true. I will miss beer and pastries the most.
kmkat: I am waiting to see your temper tantrum so that I can compare the two. I'm afraid mine will still trump yours. Wine does help. I mean, it will help the transition.
Alice C: Just be glad I'll be too far to come back for more tours of English royal palaces and courts. You were the best tour guide--as was MissM.
Eleanor: I have no doubt you would follow through with your threat to camp out on my door step. Please bring cupcakes.
bb: I say...maybe. And also, I luff you even more now. Is that possible?
Natalie: I love California. It's nice to know you're there, too. I'll wave when I arrive.
Mary: Aw, you're the best. Your photography puts everything I post to shame, of course.
Amelia: Hello New Mama! Tell Billy I'm his greatest fan. Also, congrats again! I'm in awe!
Suse: Okay. Please don't sic your new cat on me.
Allison: Hi! I miss seeing you at Homburg. Is the man you waved to the owner of "Anja?" The only German Shepherds in the village are Anja, Lyca and Rex. Did he have a moustache? Will I have to take photos of all the German Shepherd owners now? That could be awkward. I'll see what I can do. PS-How do I know the names of all the dogs in my village? Because, apparently, I have a lot of time on my hands.
kcinnova: I will take photos with you in mind. Any requests?
ALL: You are the best. Send beer.
Posted by: eurolush | March 01, 2011 at 05:45 PM
Noooooooooooooooooo! I need to laugh in the morning - and I start here!!!! I'm pouting in the corner of your blog.
Posted by: Alysha in Seattle | March 02, 2011 at 05:25 PM
What?! Quitter! I can personally vouch for there being tons of things to complain about and photograph in Northern California. Maybe fewer pastries, but there are always "It's It!" If you don't know hwat those are, you will soon.
Posted by: Jen | March 02, 2011 at 08:37 PM
How do I miss these things? I 20th the resolution that you don't quit. And if you won't come to view the gleaming spires of Prague (and golden glasses of beer) I might just have to head over to your side of the Black Forest.
Posted by: Julia@kolo | March 03, 2011 at 08:27 PM
I don't want to live in an Internet without Eurolush in it.
"I will look around one day and say --in a voice a little too loud and slightly accusatory--'Where did all these beer glasses come from?' Life must go on."
Do you think we just come here for beer and pastry? I don't even like pastry.
SK
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | March 04, 2011 at 03:44 PM
What SK said.
Posted by: b. | March 06, 2011 at 10:14 PM
We've already discussed this.
Posted by: The Coffee Lady | March 07, 2011 at 08:37 PM
No, say it's not so, the part about not blogging.
The Northern California part is bearable (although I've so enjoyed village life in Germany). I fear you'll be able to resist blogging for I've survived at least 2 summers with no word from your world.
Well, we have 3 more months to enjoy. And maybe you'll change your mind.
Warm regards,
Jane
Posted by: Just Plain Jane | March 08, 2011 at 05:03 AM