Hard to believe it's almost March. I am outraged. I am filled with fury. Do you hear that strange squeaking noise? Those are my teeth, as I grind them while typing this. Soon there will nothing left but tiny white nubs. Then you'll be sorry, March. I will still bite you.
And yet, I feel conflicted. Inside I yearn for spring...for warmer days and more light...for flowers and singing birds...for soft breezes and dappled sunlight...(but not for bees). However, it also causes me great sorrow. Why great sorrow, you ask? Ah, here's where the story gets interesting.
Three short months from now I will be leaving Germany for good. I know! It's a shock! Each day that passes now...brings me that much closer to departure. My heart clenches a little as I type those words. I am quivering like a bowl of jello. The German dream is beginning to flicker and grow dim...causing alarm and internal distress.
Inside, my inner cry-baby is growing ever more powerful. Soon, she will throw the world's most tragic temper tantrum...which only happens when she doesn't get what she wants. Which is to say, rather frequently. But none will match this.
I realize there are worse things than moving to Northern California. Yes, that's where we're headed. But the last four years here have been magical for me. And for the family. I will miss Germany with every fiber of my being. I will mourn for these quiet days. I will shed tears of utter sadness and despair. I will leave a piece of my heart in this tiny village when I go.
Hopefully the villagers will erect some sort of statue in my honor when I'm gone. That would definitely make me feel better. Then, every June they will gather together in silence and lay wreaths around the base. Tears will be shed. In this way the memory of me and my little dog will never die.
I will overcome my grief, of course. Some day. Far in the future. Most likely when I am old and forgetful. I will look around one day and say --in a voice a little too loud and slightly accusatory--'Where did all these beer glasses come from?' Life must go on.
This blog will not, however, go on. Tick tock! In three months we will both self-destruct. Happy thoughts!
Tomorrow is my three year blogging anniversary. Hard to believe. I've never done anything which required even minimal effort for three straight years. You must understand, this is miraculous. I am the world's biggest quitter. And yet!
I still think the best part of blogging has been meeting so many interesting, smart, funny and creative people. That means YOU, of course.
Is it too late to put together a "BlogEur"--during which time I invite friends from all over the world to pile into my tiny house, in my even tinier village? We can go drink beer and eat Schnitzel at Trafo. We can go for bike rides along the bike trail (it goes all the way to France from my little village!) We can go on long walks with the most beautiful views of the German countryside. I will introduce you to my German neighbors...there's Tanja, Ingo, Jule, Sonja, Martina, Manuela, Karl Heinz, Sigrid, Reiner, Petra, Gert...They will all fall in love with you! Why?
Because you are adorable, lovable and filled with goodness--like a fragile, downy baby bird.
Think about it.
The weather's pretty amazing in May...