Wow. Not sure how to start a post after nearly three months away. Excuses first? A heartfelt apology? Groveling? Sniveling? Begging for forgiveness? A secret money exchange? A shoulder rub? Some cupcakes? Beer?
Probably the beer. We'll drink to forget.
Suddenly oompah music begins to play and we are under a giant beer tent together, standing on a long wooden table...in dirndls! Look at us! We're having so much fun...just like old times!
Keep your hands off my beer.
Ach!
Where to start? I really didn't mean for so much time to pass. I didn't mean to ignore everyone and disappear. Every day I woke up and thought, 'Today I will write a post.' Every night I went to sleep thinking, 'Maybe tomorrow.' And here we are. Look up procrastination in the dictionary and there I am. (Unfortunately I'm under "glutton," "passive-aggressive" and "pompous" as well. That sucks.)
This morning I got a message from Typepad telling me I needed to update my billing or I'd no longer have access to my blog. I couldn't justify paying for something I wasn't using. But I also couldn't justify disappearing without a word. It just felt wrong. Weak. Stupid.
One month from today I leave Germany.
It's strange and surreal to write that sentence...but it's also a fact. In some ways, it's been impossible for me to be here because it was a constant reminder of all that I was leaving behind. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. It made me feel sad. Feeling sad, in turn, made me go into deep denial. If I could avoid coming here, I could put off the inevitable...or at least live in a make-believe world until someone tossed me on a plane and slammed the door shut.
I know none of this makes up for disappearing and ignoring my friends. For that, I apologize in sincerity. Not good. Ich bin ein giant dork.
Let's get this pity party rolling!
Not really.
Let's just move on, shall we?
Just saw the photo above in one of my old family photo folders recently. It was taken in Berlin in the 1970s on a vacation there with the family. My older sisters sit, looking incredibly bored, with my father inside our vacation home--while outside the window my twin sister K and I, in our matching dresses, stare in a very creepy fashion at the others. I am on the left, slightly smaller. Twins are super creepy. At least we were.
I promised in my last post--what seems like years ago now--to tell you about my former home in Belgium, where we lived for five years. I will begin by telling you I was most certainly not a Belgian princess...at least legally.
We lived here when my dad worked for NATO. The house came with the job...which is pretty sweet, eh? I was invited to go back after almost twenty years and visit. It was wonderful. In some ways it felt like coming full-circle...being here as a kid and returning with my own kids. Pure bliss. Of course, living in a Belgian chateau kinda messes with your expectations of future homes.
The experience of re-visiting places from my youth has been amazing. The chance to live again in Europe for four years was such a gift. The best part for me was sharing it with my husband and two kids. We've seen so much during our time here, and all of it will stay with us forever.
Blogging about my life here has also been amazing. I've met so many wonderful people--in real life and through pen pal-style relationships. I hate that as things wrap up here, I feel as though I've lost some of those friendships through neglect. For that, I am truly sorry.
Everything comes to an end, of course. Here I sit at about 11:45 in the morning, still in my pajamas (shhhhh!), and type out the last words of this blog. It's an appropriate ending, as many of my blog posts were typed out in my pajamas. Don't hate.
Wherever you are, if you're reading this, please know how grateful I am to have had such a fun three years here at this mostly silly blog. The experiences I've had in Germany will always go hand-in-hand with the experience I've had blogging about them. In some ways I feel as though all my blog friends are friends I've made since moving here. I will miss you when I'm gone.
I promise to try harder to be a better friend in the near future. Just writing this post has allowed me to free myself from the chains of denial. I'm leaving soon. This will all come to an end. And that's okay.
Life goes on.
XX Erin
Tuli--You've been with me since the beginning...like a blog BFF. You've seen it all and stuck by me...from the first flicker of my many tragic obsessions with: mushrooms, flea markets, beer-drinking, hedgehogs, beer-drinking hedgehogs at flea markets, etc. For that, I award you the Eurolush BFF Award. The award is actually just a pint of beer down at Trafo. Hurry up and get here so we can get started with the "ceremony."
You are the best, Tuli, dear.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Erin
Posted by: eurolush | May 23, 2011 at 04:59 PM
Dear Eurolush -
I've never posted here but have followed your blog for some time now - it's been so great to be a very small part of the joie de voir that just pours through the monitor when I read your posts - I don't know how I will replace the whole experience! For a number of personal reasons my time spent on your blog was a wonderful spring breeze and I'll miss that.
Thanks for the fanatical dedication to german beers, the great photos of wonderful villages, and most importantly, the chance to get to know you.
Machs gut! Alles Gute! Bis zum nächsten Mal!
Posted by: Jim in DC | May 24, 2011 at 05:10 PM
Eleanor, It's confusing. I'm moving closer to you...but we'll be even farther apart (in timezones.) Luckily, we'll only be about a 20 hour flight away from one another!! Twenty hours is nothing!! It's less than nothing! When I come to visit--which will happen some day very soon--I'll expect you to round up Kim, Suse, Mary, Amelia, Fifi, Janet, etc. etc. etc. I know I'm forgetting people...bring them, too! Then I'll expect you to perform your infamous belly dance. I'll expect Kim to perform some of her famed dance moves as well. It'll be "Dance-Off Australia Edition"!
You're right. There have been so many fun times via our blogs. Like all good sibling relationships, ours has been filled with squabbling and love. With criticism and praise. With competition and collaboration.
I will miss your taunting.
I will miss taunting you back via my blog.
I will miss your funny comments.
I will miss thinking of you and snickering, as I write my taunting posts.
But don't worry. I'll be haunting your blog from now 'til the end of time. You'll never get rid of me!
Mwah!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Erin
Posted by: eurolush | May 24, 2011 at 09:18 PM
Amelia, Besides having the cutest family on the planet (which you do), you're a talented quilter and an amazing cook. Hopefully, when I finally make it to Australia some day, you'll invite me over to your adorable house and show me your beatiful quilts. I'll also expect a hearty vegetarian meal--which includes dessert. (Don't forget the beer.)
It's been so much fun being a small part of your life over the last few years. I can't tell you how exiciting it was when Eleanor called me to tell me the baby had arrived. I was so happy for you and your family. It was almost as if we were a small part of the excitement. Having Eleanor as our go-between has been delightful!
I'll definitely keep up with your blog and look forward to seeing lots more of your quilting, cooking, family, house, life, etc. You are so sweet and wonderful, Amelia! I'm lucky to have you as a friend!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Erin
Smooches!
Posted by: eurolush | May 24, 2011 at 09:27 PM
fifi--I'm always a little star-struck when you show up in my comment box. I get tongue-tied--or the equivalent here in blog world. I count myself as one of your many, many admirers. I'm a huge fan. Your talent for writing. Your amazing underwater photography. Your phenomenal art. Your powerful swimming abililty--winning open water races--& swimming with SHARKS!! Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!! I am in awe of it all. You're a SUPAH-STAH!! I bow down to you, Ocean Queen.
Thanks for all your support and kind comments. It's all meant a lot to me over the last few years. Getting to know amazing and inspiring women (like you) has been the best part of blogging for me.
All the best to you, fifi!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Erin
Posted by: eurolush | May 24, 2011 at 09:41 PM
Oh, Stink Pants.
I love this final post - so perfect, like all the others that led up to it. I do feel a little sad, like you're moving. Which you are. But this time closer to me. Which is good.
I would read your blog even if you weren't my little sister and I didn't have to check daily to make sure you we're unjustly dogging me out. Justly dogging me out is okay, just not unjustly, you understand?
I hope you will find your way to another blog down the road, maybe something a little different but with your sweet old Eurolush tone and style. I will even pay your stooopid typepad bills, but only if they are less than 47 cents a month.
Here's to cupcakes and dirdl's and not letting Jen cut you up in some nasty little dive.
Posted by: b. | May 24, 2011 at 11:27 PM
What? I just get clued in and now you're leaving?
Hmmphh....
I recall one of those beer tents in Holzkirchen with great fondness, about Anno Domini 2000. Visiting friends. It was wonderful.
There's an awful lot I love about Germany, including the memory of singing "How Great Thou Art" at 5,000 feet in a hot air balloon, over the NW slopes of the Bavarian Alps.
Do keep up the blog. The name is just too cool to lose....
Posted by: boB Cleveland | June 07, 2011 at 08:52 PM
Having grown up in Germany, I always read your blogs with great interest - and a chuckle. Getting to see all the wonderful photos of Tex made me yearn for my late Westie.
I am hoping you will take up blogging again in CA. Your friends all over the world want to keep in touch.
Want to stop on your way to California and see my son's brewery in Minnesota? I am assuming your taste for good beer will continue in this country.
Missing you and Tex....
Posted by: dorit | June 08, 2011 at 05:46 AM
How did I not comment on this post? I don't recognise the photos either, which I suspect means you posted when our internet had run out and so I couldn't comment or look at pictures.
Are you still there? What country are you in now?
I miss you! We need more pastries and beer in the blogosphere! Come back, darling Eurolush!
suse
xxx
Posted by: suse | June 24, 2011 at 07:51 AM
I would like to thing that your visits to the Emerald Isle reveal an affinity for The Celts. However, you don't seem to have managed to get to Wales - the land of my fathers (my mother, actually). That said, you may not have understood a word we said. So, to mark your departure (back to the land of my grandsons, as it happens), here's a wee ditty from another Celtic nation, Scotland.........
Haste ye back, we loo you dearly
Call again, you're welcome here.
May your days be free from sorrow,
And your friends be ever near.
May the path on which you wander
Be to you a joy each day.
Haste ye back, we loo you dearly
Haste ye back on friendship's way.
Posted by: Omnibusologist | July 20, 2011 at 05:38 PM